You’re gonna love me and so will all your friends 🤩
Most likely to:
-Ask you lots of questions
-Plan cute dates
-Accept all your quirks
-Remind you that you’re amazing
Least likely to:
-Go through your phone
-Tell you what to do
-Call you “too sensitive”
-Be selfish in bed
Swipe left if you’re into mind games or want to control me #byee
My therapist and I both agree there's no room for toxic energy agreed?
I’m pretty hot, but don’t just take my word for it, read my reviews:
"Communication and listening skills hit different.” - Uber driver
“Only yes’s for this one.” - Corona bae
“It’s the enthusiasm for me.” - Amazon delivery guy
“A literal must-have” - Summer Fling 2019
“⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐” - Satisfied ex-lover
Swipe right for guaranteed pleasure 🔥🔥🔥 dw, I always ask first 😉
I’m on fire right now and here for everyone 🔥 🙌
Let's just say I’ve had a glow up since Karen first used me on eHarmony
Pros:
-I’m a cheap date; download me for free unless you want my paid features
-I’ll accompany you anywhere
Cons:
-I occasionally attract catfishes, but with time you’ll become an expert at sniffing them out
-If swiped too aggressively, I can cause early onset carpel tunnel (go slow and steady with me baby 😏)
All-in-all, I require a bit of boldness and sometimes trial and error, but I'm worth a shot!
Tired of relying on others for lackluster orgasms, or worse, unachieved ones? 🙄
Stuck in your house, over making banana bread, or bored out of your mind?
Horny after watching a spicy TV show? Need to let off some steam?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, I’m the one for you... regardless of your relationship status 😉
Just to borrow some words from the Queens Rihanna and Lizzo, “sex with me, so amazing,” I’m 100% that pandemic-proof, anxiety busting bisch 💦 😈
